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Girls your Partner Wants you to Feel Good!

I was recently chatting with a man doing some work at our house. Tom told him what I do and he was asking me questions about my studio and offerings for his wife.

He said ‘she does everything at home for the kids and puts herself last leaving no time for herself. She’s exhausted and I see her react more at the kids. I just want her to feel good in herself and her body again. I want her to be happy. I will just pay for her to come to your studio. She’s lost her confidence she used to have and I miss her’

I truly valued hearing his perspective and thought more wives need to hear this!

He loves and adores her and wants more connection, confidence, energy and spark back in her.

But she often feels exhausted or guilty for taking time or spending money on herself and prioritises caring for her family.

Why do we have to lose ourselves in our roles as mums and caregivers?
We don’t!
We can have both!

Our kids come through us but they are not ours to keep. We are here to guide, equip and inspire them on their souls purpose. How can we do that if we don’t set an example to care for ourselves. We have ONE VESSEL to carry us through life. Honouring it and caring for it is a non negotiable if we want the most out of our lives and time and energy with our loved ones enjoying life’s experiences.

Awareness

Often we don’t realise what we’re doing to ourselves. The daily chores and responsibilities take over and we tell ourselves ‘I’ll start taking better care of myself as soon as….. ‘I have more time or when my kids are older or when life settles down’. That’s not going to happen! Before we know it months or years have passed and nothings changed.

I remember my Mum saying to me when I was younger ‘don’t put off having kids until you can afford it. You will never feel you can afford it. Have them anyway and you’ll make it work’. Same goes for taking care of you. Do it anyway and you’ll find a way to make it all work!

I want you to ask yourself honestly. What stops me?

  • Am I lazy?
  • Do I feel guilty?
  • Am I procrastinating? 
  • Is fear holding me back?
  • Am I embarrassed by my body?
  • Am I nervous starting something new?
  • Am I anxious doing something by myself?
  • Do I simply not know how or what to do for me anymore?

Are you using your household responsibilities and the kids reliance on you as an excuse or justification that you don’t have time because of these underlying fears and limiting beliefs?

That’s well and good for a period, but the the time will come when your kids become teens, young adults or move out and you’re lost because your sole priority and worth is tied up in your role as ‘Mum’. I’ve worked with women at that stage who are so lost, lack confidence and riddled with anxiety coming to a class because they literally put their entire life on hold for 20 years raising their kids. So many marriages also suffer in the process. Your family needs you to be at your best!

Your Ideal Self

Yes mums our kids are our priority, our deepest love and we want the absolute best for them. But I can share from experience with mine at 17 and 19, equally important is our own soul journey and relationship with our partners.

Women tend to hold the dominant energy in the family home. When you feel good in yourself, your energy ripples out to your partner and family. By you fulfilling your needs you have more to give to your loved ones. Also you will discover:

  • Your health improves
  • Your more pleasant to be around
  • You have more radiance and appeal
  • You have more fun
  • Your confidence soars
  • You have more energy to play with your kids
  • You have more patience, are calm and more peaceful
  • You don’t feel like you’re constantly yelling at your kids
  • Your marriage, sex life, playfulness, intimacy and connection improves
  • Your elevated energy attracts more abundance
  • Your more passionate
  • Your confidence attracts more opportunities for you career or purpose
  • You discover yourself again
  • Your more in tune with your body and your desires
  • Your connection to your intuition, wisdom and inner guidance amplifies
  • Life starts flowing more easily and effortlessly

Your energy is your superpower!
Running on empty is your biggest block!

Reflect or journal on your ideal self, her needs, desires, visions, dreams, goals, ambitions and the ideal person you want to be for your partner, the mum you want to be to your kids and most importantly how you want her to show up for you.

If you’re not feeling in alignment with your ideal self and want change, improvement in your life and your relationships, then you need to take responsibility for yourself. You can’t blame your partner or kids. Your power lies within yourself and your awareness and desire to want growth, but then to take aligned action.

Aligned Action

Just start! Don’t overwhelm yourself trying to change everything all at once. What’s one thing you can do for yourself to get your spark back again? What leaves you feeling good? What do you need from these ideas for self care:

  • Physically – exercise, yoga, pilates, walking, massage
  • Soul care – meditation, journaling, grounding, breath work, get out in nature
  • Mental diet – books, podcasts, study, likeminded people, reduce time on devices
  • Fun – do what lights you up, time with family, on your own, date nights, trips, adventure
  • Rest – time out guilt free, time in solitude, naps, self permission to simply be, breaks, self care day
  • Creativity – hobbies, interests, passions, explore
  • Nourishment – clean eating, food prep, water, get rid of the crap

Schedule it in and make it a non negotiable. Even if something comes up promise yourself you are doing this one thing by the end of the week. Once it becomes part of your rituals, add in something else.

Get into a supportive community that lifts you, inspires you and raises your vibration!

Talk to your partner, share your visions for your ideal self, your marriage and the energy of the home to improve. Don’t ask for permission, ask for support and a gentle nudge if life gets hard or your motivation dwindles. Give them the same support and encouragement for their needs and what lights them up!

Remember the seasons of life. The balance is forever changing at different stages, different ages. From babies, toddlers, school, teens, empty nesters. Flow with them. Don’t get so rigid on strict routines. Have more of an attitude of adaptability. Give yourself grace if things come up with work, life or the kids. Simply get back on track but promise yourself you will commit to always turning up for you no matter what.

Remember your loved ones want a happy fulfilled mamma!

Your partner adores you and wants the soul they fell in love with.
Don’t lose your authentic self, your joy and the essence of who you are in your busy life!

This pic was on a recent trip to Malta and exploring the Blue Grotto. Tom is my high school sweetheart, my rock, my soul mate, love of my life and my biggest supporter. I credit our 23 year marriage to us both working on and caring for ourselves as individuals. Recognising we’re on our own soul paths while coming together in marriage.

Lisa Everding
Earthy Angels Yoga 057

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